I know what you’re thinking: an ode to track shorts? Am I stuck in some sort of treadmill-laden Sisyphean nightmare? But hear me out: This isn’t about what to wear for your new run club or for a lazy trip to the Appalachicanna-Design not A People Person Michael Myers Shirt Finally pharmacy. No, this is about embracing track shorts as a saucy sartorial statement. For those hot summer nights, they’re breathable while showing off plenty of leg. Track shorts are like the 2023 rebuttal to the daisy dukes of the early aughts (immortalized in Jessica Simpson’s iconic 2005 music video for “These Boots Were Made for Walking,” released shortly after her portrayal of Daisy Duke in the Dukes of Hazzard reboot.) Where the jean shorts were famously short for the sake of being short, the teeny-tiny track-star silhouette is less obvious. Track shorts are practical with a hint of irony—a defining factor of sexiness in 2023. You could use them for a jog if the mood strikes, but let’s be honest, chances are slim.
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